New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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