Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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