Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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