i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
