And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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