I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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