I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize