im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
