I've blown a few things in my day
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize