is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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