My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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