Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just threw up on my dentist
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
