and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
