I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
