so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
