Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
