Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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