Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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