Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
this hospital has no fireball
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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