The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i will never coherently bang her
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
