Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We need a shit load of segways right now
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
