After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
