My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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