I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
