Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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