May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
