I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Randomize
