shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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