So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
