Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize