I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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