I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
