can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
