So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
