I want to make a zoo with you.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
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