There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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