i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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