just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
