I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
