and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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