my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
