she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You know, be my cock's hype man.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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