It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
