So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and she was petting her beer can
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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