I wish they made helmets for livers.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
