i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
