Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
