I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
