do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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