Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize