I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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