Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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