Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
