And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
