So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
