I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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