A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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