At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
